Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Hawaii - CVS

Well, we are here in Hawaii – finally! It’s been wonderful! However, because of the amount of weeks I’m already pregnant and the predetermined time constraints of the CVS, I had to have my procedure done the morning after we arrived here…ugh. That was no fun. I was seriously jet lagged and tired…but it had to be done. I mislead my mom into believing [we] had general appointments…I feel really bad about that. However, I’m very serious and determined not to tell anyone about this pregnancy until I know for sure everything is ok – or not. If everything is not ok, then I want to be able to choose who I tell or who I don’t. Anyway, I hope my feelings on the subject are something my mom will be able to understand later. I’m sure she will. I also felt obligated to bald face lie to one of my good friends in the US who directly asked me if I was pregnant. I tried to evade her question, but in the end, I had to lie about it. Hopefully, she’ll understand as well. Not much I can do about it, seeing as how I feel about the subject.

Due to the location of the placenta (being on top of the uterus), the doctor had little choice other than to do the procedure trans-abdominally. Which means…they had to stick a large needle in through my belly and “saw” out some tissue and fluid from the placenta villi…not a pleasant experience. Downright uncomfortable, if you ask me.

And now I play the final waiting game on the subject of chromosomal abnormalities…as well as the official gender of the baby. Next on my agenda to worry about (being sarcastic here) is the environmental influences, if any, that may have affected the fetus. Many of these can be foretold through later ultrasounds…around 18 week mark. Just more to look forward to, I guess…

As far as I’m feeling…

I had a serious case of jet lag. Almost more than I remember ever feeling before. It was just a lot harder to “recover” from this flight and time change. Probably because I’m already feeling so tired and many times woozy. Going to the beach today, for Father’s Day, was soooo blissful. When I’m buoyant in the water, I feel light as air…something that is definitely difficult for me to accomplish…well…ever.

That’s another thing. I feel so completely bloated and utterly fat – all the time now. If I was a skinny person, I definitely would have “popped” where people could tell that I was pregnant. However, since I already have extra weight, and even though I, too, have “popped”, it just looks like I’m totally and utterly fat. It’s horrible…I hate it. Almost from the beginning, it’s been nearly impossible to “suck it in” like I’m used to doing most of the time. So, all those layers of fat lying on top of my uterus, just look like they are getting fatter and fatter, since I can no longer suck anything in anymore. But, I’m not pregnant enough yet to have anyone think I might be carrying something other than extra weight around. I hate it.
And to answer the question…?

My family has not noticed the difference…which of course makes me feel ten times worse. They just think I’m fat…even fatter than usual, I guess. Ugh.

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