Tuesday, June 30, 2009


My emotions are still out of control. I still cry at everything…tear up at almost anything. There are many scenes here in Shanghai that I have a really hard time passing. Homeless, beggars, children being harshly yelled at or mistreated in other ways, neglect of children’s care…and even hearing children somewhere in our neighborhood crying. They seem to cry for an inordinate length of time…and it about kills me. Even if I try and justify how they might have deserved the punishment or they are just being normal toddlers…I still can’t help but think and feel that maybe they didn’t deserve it. Ugh…it’s horrible. It’s not as if I was blind or deaf to it before…it’s just that NOW, I’m hyper sensitive to things like that.

I never experienced this with my last two pregnancies.

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