Dreams...

Some people believe that your dreams may tell you more than you think while you are pregnant. I’m not sure if this is true, but I recently had a very vivid and prominent dream about the sex of this baby. According to the dream, we are having a boy!

In my dream, as well as when I woke up…I won’t deny that I was in a small funk about this. When you already have two of the same sex, having another baby of a different sex is kind of exciting. And in our culture, having a girl is what many women want to have. However, here in China…having three boys…well, I won’t be surprised if people bow down to us on the street…especially in the smaller and more rural areas. Haha It’s amazing how different two cultures can be sometimes.

Anyway, I’ve always had a slight fear that if we had a third boy…it would be difficult to accept. This is after I had done MUCH soul searching about whether I wanted a third because I wanted a bigger family or if it was because I wanted to try for a girl. After the soul searching, I knew in my heart that it was because I wanted a bigger family. But, as I said, until we actually KNOW the sex of this third baby…I have always harbored a sliver of doubt about my conviction.

So, when I had the dream…I wasn’t too surprised to feel a little disappointed that we were probably going to have another boy. HOWEVER, after a short time, my entire outlook changed and I was once again ecstatic to welcome my third and final boy…the soul who would complete our family. This in itself already makes him very special to me. Also, this pregnancy is so different from my other ones, I can’t wait to meet this son of mine…and get to know why he will be different from my other two outside the womb as he is inside of it. My own soul feels content.

This is very good news. I’m not sure what the purpose of the dream was…to let me know I’m having a boy or to prove to myself that my original soul searching was not in vain? I’m very happy and excited about this last addition to our family…and I already feel “complete.” It’s a very good feeling.

OF COURSE, we won’t know for sure what the true and final word is about the gender of this little one until later. But, at our last ultra sound, the heart rate had dropped from the time before…as it will throughout the pregnancy. Both my boys had low-er heart rates, so I’m a believer of that theory. So, maybe this proves that this one is a boy as well. But, like I said…we still have to wait and see for sure.

I think that is the hardest part…the waiting. If it’s another boy…I just want to know that, so I can “move on” from the idea/hope of having a girl. I think many women go through each of their pregnancies hoping for one gender or another. I’m a little tired of the “wishing” game. So, once we know for sure, I will be happy to move forward with the knowledge that this is my third and final…whatever that is. I feel in my heart that this child completes our family…so the sooner I know how to plan for this child, the happier it’ll make me.