Part of the Process...

People might want to know why I posted my previous blog. Well, there were several reasons.

Partly - because I honestly don't think very many people read my blog. Those people that I know who USED to read it more regularly...don't anymore. I, personally, have given my blog address only to those who care about me...mainly family and very close friends.

Partly - because I needed support about the subject at hand...from those who are close to me and those who still read my blog. It was difficult enough to write/say it once...much less several times, to different people.

Partly - because I felt it was both a poignant and ironic ending to a blog dedicated to the trials and tribulations that occur as an expat in China. Any stranger who might (and I stress MIGHT) come across my blog and then be interested enough to read it, won't care who I am...they don't know me. However, they might be interested in the final parts of the process of this experience.

Partly - I wrote it the way I did because I chose not to relay and discuss the most intimate reasons - online - of just what we, as a couple, are going through. Those close enough to us who care, could email us directly about it...and they did.

So...those are some of the reasons I posted the last blog. It's part of the experience, folks. That's the sad reality of it. I have mentioned time and time again how expat couples around us are dropping like flies in a bug spray vacuum, here in China. This is HARD and I really can't stress that enough! It seems that there isn't ANY part of the process that is easy! I used to think that it could be easier for some...like those who were used to traveling more or had done the expat thing or knew others who did, etc. But, now, I'm not so sure. And I'm still unclear for the reasons...like whether it's a general "expat" experience that is hard or is it here in CHINA that makes it so hard for a westerner...? I still don't know exactly.

But, one thing is clear to us...we need to come home. We both feel that once we are back home, in the land of the 'safe and familiar' again, many aspects of our lives that feel ruffled now...will eventually smooth out. Our marriage being one of them as well.

But, we also can't underestimate the REST of the repatriation process. From what we have read and the people we have spoke with about it...it's not as easy as it sounds. Apparently, there are many unexpected stresses on the other end. People miss the friends they made internationally...people realize that the life they left isn't the same one they come back to...they find out their community back home has changed in the years they were gone...etc, etc, etc. There are many "realizations" that we, as expats, need to consider when coming home. After what we have been through as expats, I can only hope that the "unknowns" back home will be manageable compared to being here.

I guess we will see. There are a few changes that, while anticipated, I fear might be hard for us when we return. All we can do is look ahead and try to adapt as things happen.